On average, children make 31 visits to their primary care provider from birth through young adulthood. However, if medical anxiety is not addressed, kids can begin to associate their healthcare provider (HCP) with discomfort and pain, which can lead to reluctance in cooperating during future examinations.
It’s essential to support children in managing their anxiety related to medical appointments to foster long-term health. According to naturopathic doctor Erin TeWinkel, who works with teens and families in Chatham-Kent, Ontario, “Empowering kids with knowledge and confidence while making them feel in control of their healthcare prepares them for healthier lives in the future.”
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Signs of Anxiety in Children
It’s perfectly normal for young children to experience worry and fear. It is developmentally appropriate for older infants to be cautious around strangers as they distinguish familiar caregivers from unknown adults.
Children often express their feelings through behavior instead of words. If a child is feeling anxious or scared, they might show signs of aggression, withdrawal, defiance, or regressive behaviors—like bedwetting or thumb-sucking. Physical symptoms may also occur, such as fatigue, headaches, or stomachaches.
These signs of anxiety should prompt an open discussion with your child about their feelings before any doctor’s appointment.
Herbs to Alleviate Anxiety
- Chamomile
- Lavender
- Lemon Balm
- Passionflower
- Valerian Root
- Ashwagandha
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Encouraging Positive Behavior
Share your own positive experiences regarding doctor visits to help instill a sense of comfort. Rather than downplaying your own medical anxieties, showcase resilience by practicing self-soothing techniques like deep breathing or box breathing.
When accompanying your young child to the doctor, communicate in soothing tones, maintain a smile, and exhibit relaxed body language. Advocate for your child by engaging with the doctor and encourage them to ask their own questions. Request that the doctor clarify any confusing terminology for your child’s understanding.
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Home Preparations
Set suitable expectations for your child before the appointment:
- Use age-appropriate language to explain what will happen during the doctor’s visit. For older children, mention if they will undergo examinations, blood work, or vaccinations to alleviate fear of the unknown.
- Engage in role-playing with toy medical equipment to familiarize your young child with items like a stethoscope.
- Watch kid-friendly videos about different doctor visits, such as to a family doctor, dentist, or eye doctor.
- Allow your child to choose an activity to bring to the waiting room, along with a comfort item for the appointment.
- Encourage your child to think of questions they want to ask the doctor or things they’d like to learn about their health.
- Let your teen know they have the option for you to step out during private discussions with the doctor.
Strategies for a Positive Visit
Your healthcare provider can help ease your child’s anxiety through the implementation of the CARE strategy highlighted in the World Journal of Clinical Pediatrics.
Choice: Empower in a powerless situation
Your healthcare provider can empower your child by allowing them to make choices, such as deciding whether to check their heart or their ears first.
Encouraging your child to ask questions, like “What would you like to know today?” can involve them actively in the appointment.
Agenda: Set clear expectations
Fear often stems from uncertainty. This can be alleviated if your HCP outlines what will happen during the visit, for instance: “Our time today is 20 minutes. I’ll start by asking you and your parent some questions, then I’ll check your heart, lungs, and belly, and finally, we’ll create a plan to help you feel better.”
Resilience: Focus on strengths and reframe negatives
If your HCP discusses your child’s strengths and encourages them to share their favorite aspects of their life, it can nurture trust in the therapeutic relationship.
Addressing health concerns (like bedwetting or ADHD) may evoke feelings of shame. When your HCP asks open-ended questions such as “What would you like to see change?” it can help shift negative internal narratives.
Emotional Support: Validate common fears and responses
It’s normal to feel anxious during a visit to the healthcare provider. Having your HCP recognize and validate your child’s feelings can foster a sense of safety. An example might be the HCP saying, “I often get nervous meeting new people, too,” to help ease the child’s nerves at the start of the appointment.
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Your Child’s Healthcare Team
Finding a compassionate and knowledgeable provider experienced in treating children can greatly enhance your child’s medical experience. Given the current shortage of primary care doctors in Canada, securing a family physician is already a challenge.
In light of limited options, seek clinics with welcoming staff and a comforting environment to help ease your child’s worries.
To complement your child’s healthcare, consider consulting allied health professionals like naturopaths, chiropractors, or osteopaths. “Scheduling a discovery session with a provider before an initial appointment helps to assess compatibility and determines if the fit works,” suggests TeWinkel.
Then and Now
When alive magazine was established 50 years ago, anxiety—both in adults and children—was largely ignored and seldom discussed, with no mention of it in our inaugural issue. Awareness of mental health has significantly improved our understanding of this complex issue. Erin TeWinkel, ND, shares how children’s medical visits have evolved over the past five decades:
Mental Health
Today, anxiety, depression, and stress management are integral components of primary care, rather than being overlooked.
Privacy and Consent
Modern teens are more aware of their rights regarding confidentiality and consent, especially in the realms of reproductive and mental health.
Accessible Care
Virtual consultations and youth-focused clinics have made healthcare more accessible.
Less Stigmatization
Subjects like sexual health and body image are now approached with enhanced openness and inclusivity.
This article first appeared in the August 2025 issue of alive magazine.
