The presence of men in a woman’s life can significantly assist her during the emotional and physical transformations associated with menopause. This period is marked by substantial changes for wives, sisters, mothers, and friends—and increasingly, men are becoming aware of these developments.
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The Hormonal Roadmap
Women undergo significant reproductive and hormonal changes during the menopause transition, and each woman’s experience is unique.
Perimenopause marks the onset of this transition and can begin as early as eight years before the final menstrual period. Most women reach menopause between ages 45 and 55, but there is considerable variation.
Menopause is officially reached when a woman has not had a period or spotting for a complete year.
Postmenopause refers to the period following that year, during which some women may continue experiencing symptoms related to hormonal changes.
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Understanding Menopause: What’s Happening?
Every woman is born with a fixed supply of eggs, or follicles, in her ovaries. During perimenopause, as the number of follicles decreases, ovulation becomes less consistent, leading to fluctuations in hormonal levels. According to Dr. Samantha Gray, ND, RAc, “This variation in hormonal levels contributes to the symptoms experienced during perimenopause.”
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Identifying the Symptoms
These hormonal alterations can present various symptoms that may affect a woman’s well-being:
- Hot flashes and night sweats causing excessive body heat, sweating, or flushed skin.
- Mood swings such as irritability, anxiety, depression, and sadness.
- Vaginal dryness, which could lead to discomfort during intimacy or urinary issues.
- Brain fog affecting concentration and memory, making daily activities feel more challenging.
- Physical changes involving dry skin, thinning hair, and increased facial hair.
- Weight gain and changes in body shape, particularly around the abdomen, affecting personal comfort and self-esteem.
As these changes unfold, a woman’s ability to manage what was previously “normal” for her may shift, which can be perplexing for her partner. “Stress tolerance may alter, and you might notice the women in your life coping differently, or struggling to cope, due to this change in threshold,” explains Gray.
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How Can Men Help?
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Educate Yourself About Menopause
Understanding how menopause impacts women’s health can foster greater compassion and prevent men from dismissing their partner’s experiences. Resources like the Canadian Menopause Society and the Menopause Foundation of Canada are valuable tools.
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Practice Compassionate Engagement
Inquire about her experience, such as: “I’ve been reading about menopause and noticed that women have varying experiences. How has it been for you?”
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Accept Physical Changes
Hormonal changes may lead to alterations in a woman’s skin, muscles, and body. It is natural to feel sadness over these transformations, and a partner’s kindness and affection can have a significant impact. Dr. Gray notes, “Our culture has a rigid definition of beauty; together, reevaluating that definition and affirming her beauty through your eyes can make a difference.”
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Support Her Mental Health
Be adaptable to her changing needs. Offer assistance with household chores, errands, and everyday tasks to lighten her burden. Creating a peaceful home environment can also help manage mood swings.
“Understand the women in your life,” Dr. Gray advises. “Some women prefer to discuss their challenges openly and find humor in them, while others may be more sensitive and overwhelmed.”
Interestingly, research indicates that women in cultures that accept menopause and avoid strict gender roles report fewer symptoms, suggesting that the perception of this life stage among their support network influences their overall experience.
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Embrace Healthy Lifestyle Changes
Welcoming healthy lifestyle adjustments can ease strain in relationships and assist both partners during menopause and beyond. Dr. Gray states, “Lifestyle choices made together can bolster these efforts. When a man acknowledges his own aging and the shifts in his life, both partners can adapt together.”
Healthy lifestyle choices might encompass engaging in meditation, walking, or yoga; choosing nutrient-rich foods; enjoying time outdoors; and reducing alcohol intake. “Additionally, weight-bearing exercises promote bone and muscle health and play a vital role in managing symptoms,” Gray emphasizes.
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Practice Patience, Listening, and Validation
Recognizing the difficulties of menopause can make women feel validated and supported, encouraging them to share their experiences, keeping communication lines open. In relationships, intimacy and connection may transform, influencing sexual desire and function, which can be highly variable during this transition.
Engage in open dialogues about how both partners can maintain closeness without added pressure. “Maintain communication, show compassion, and remember that her experience will continue to evolve,” Gray suggests. “Be willing to adapt with her.”
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Support Her Decisions
Ultimately, menopause is a woman’s personal journey, and how she chooses to manage it is entirely her decision. While it’s crucial to participate in discussions about options and various treatment avenues, the best support you can provide is to respect her choices. “Together, the two of you can face this journey stronger,” says Gray.
This article originally appeared in the June 2025 issue of alive magazine.
