Being deeply in love can sometimes feel like losing touch with reality. Research shows that love manifests in various ways, each influencing the brain in significant ways.
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What Impact Does Love Have on Our Brains?
Romantic love takes many forms, particularly in the early stages of a relationship, where it can be challenging to focus on anything else. The intense attraction during this phase releases dopamine and oxytocin—neurotransmitters related to pleasure and reward.
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The Influence of Attraction Types
An overwhelming focus on attraction can impair the prefrontal cortex, leading to poor decision-making and irrational thoughts. Conversely, long-term intimacy activates areas of the brain’s reward system that are rich in dopamine.
According to Robert Grigore, a registered clinical counsellor, “Good mental health contributes positively to relationships, and healthy romantic connections enhance mental well-being.”
He adds, “Having a supportive partner during difficult times can make the difference between experiencing a life crisis and merely facing a temporary setback. Feeling valued and cared for helps satisfy our fundamental need to feel acknowledged and important.”
Long-term intimate relationships can enhance:
- immune system function
- stress hormone regulation
- mood stability
- motivation levels
- coping abilities
Grigore emphasizes that a healthy relationship fosters safety in various aspects—physical, emotional, sexual, financial, and spiritual.
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The Resilience Offered by Healthy Romantic Relationships
Key components of a healthy relationship—such as feeling cherished, a strong emotional bond, and even engaging in constructive challenges—bolster self-confidence, self-esteem, happiness, and resilience, according to Bernadette Amiscaray, a registered clinical counsellor at Nightingale Counselling.
“A supportive romantic relationship provides the security and courage to live more fully,” Amiscaray states. “While our overall sense of self and mental well-being should not solely depend on our romantic connections, a nurturing environment with a loving partner certainly contributes to a positive outlook and resilience to life’s hurdles.”
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The Negative Health Impacts of Unhealthy Relationships
Grigore explains, “When stress from relational issues becomes overwhelming, individuals often turn to addictive behaviors or unwanted impulses.”
Unhealthy relationships may feature miscommunication, conflict, emotional or physical abuse, and infidelity, leading to feelings of worthlessness and resulting in anxiety, depressive episodes, or post-traumatic stress symptoms.
Scientists refer to the “polyvagal theory,” which suggests that feelings of safety arise from internal physiological states regulated by the autonomic nervous system. Negative relational dynamics can trigger responses tied to fight, flight, freeze, or fawn reactions.
While the terms “fight” and “flight” are commonly understood, “freeze” relates to the inability to react to perceived threats, and “fawn” describes an instinct to appease others to avert danger. The lasting effects of toxic relationships can severely impact mental and physical well-being.
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Ways to Strengthen Romantic Connections
Healthy romantic bonds thrive when partners share their thoughts, feelings, aspirations, and dreams, all while feeling emotionally secure and cared for, according to Grigore.
“To achieve this, partners might need to embark on personal healing journeys through proven therapeutic methods, such as EMDR, CBT, or DBT,” he adds.
“Additionally, understanding your partner’s ‘love language’ can significantly enhance relationships,” Grigore suggests.
For couples facing intimacy challenges, scheduling intentional moments together—whether dates, massages, or nature walks—can strengthen bonds. Sometimes, simply putting down devices and engaging in small physical acts of affection can bridge emotional gaps.
Other effective practices for cultivating love and deepening connections include:
- journaling about shared experiences
- participating in individual and couples therapy
- setting personal and relationship goals together
Amiscaray offers additional advice for nurturing healthy relationships:
- Frequently express appreciation for both small and significant qualities in your partner.
- Practice thoughtful communication, utilizing “I feel” statements instead of accusatory remarks.
- Attend to your mental health to be more present for your partner, and encourage the same for them.
- Release the pursuit of a perfect relationship; embrace its natural fluctuations, allowing it to grow without the weight of unrealistic expectations.
This article originally appeared in the February 2025 edition of alive magazine.
