5 Strategies to Stop Bedtime Conflicts

Parents with young children often face similar struggles—bedtime can quickly shift from calm to chaotic, filled with tears, tantrums, and the allure of toys even after lights out. This chaos not only frustrates parents but also impacts the amount and quality of sleep children get, which can have significant health implications. Just one hour less of sleep each night can adversely affect a child’s cognitive function and attention span.

Insufficient sleep in children is associated with serious health issues such as diabetes, hypertension, and obesity. It can also contribute to emotional challenges and behavioral problems resembling those found in children diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Furthermore, poor sleep can hinder a child’s learning capabilities and overall academic success.

After wrestling your kids into bed, you might find yourself too worn out from the negotiation process to fall asleep yourself. So, what options do you have to ensure both your children and you get a good night’s rest?

1. Create Bedtime Rituals for Everyone.

As a naturopathic doctor, Dr. Meghan van Drimmelen frequently advises parents concerned about their children’s sleep issues. Her primary recommendation is simple but effective: “The first thing I ask is whether they have a bedtime routine,” explains van Drimmelen. “What does the process look like when parents are trying to get their kids to sleep?”

Every family’s bedtime routine may differ, but van Drimmelen recommends offering a light, healthy snack, followed by a warm bath, and concluding with a soothing story. Additionally, she suggests avoiding screens for at least an hour before bedtime. Once the kids are settled for the night, take a few moments for yourself—whether that’s enjoying a book, taking a bath, or disconnecting from devices altogether.

2. Maintain a Sleep-Friendly Diet.

The next factor in ensuring a good night’s rest is diet. The food you and your kids consume throughout the day—beyond just what they eat before bed—significantly influences how well they sleep at night.

“Consuming quality proteins and healthy fats helps stabilize blood sugar, which in turn helps regulate cortisol levels—the stress hormone,” explains van Drimmelen. “If cortisol surges during the night, it becomes challenging for children to fall asleep.”

To maintain balanced blood sugar and cortisol levels at night, she advocates for a whole-foods diet rich in fresh fruits, leafy greens, and lean proteins like beans and legumes. Incorporating healthy fats from sources like nuts, seeds, olive oil, and avocados is also beneficial. Van Drimmelen advises reducing sugar intake, especially in the evening.

3. Prepare for Back-to-School Stress.

Beyond diet, external pressures can affect cortisol levels. If you find it hard to fall asleep, it could be due to elevated cortisol levels, which may be the case for your children as well—especially during the transition from summer to fall. For many families, September signals a busy time of year when school, daycare, and work schedules necessitate earlier bedtimes. This stress and anxiety can negatively impact a child’s ability to drift off, notes van Drimmelen.

To address this, van Drimmelen encourages parents to keep an open dialogue with their children about any worries they may have. She also emphasizes the importance of regular exercise for kids as a means of managing stress. “Exercising in the morning or afternoon—rather than later in the evening—is crucial for balancing various hormones in the nervous system, aiding relaxation as bedtime approaches,” she says.

4. Explore Herbal Remedies.

If you’ve tried diet, exercise, and a solid bedtime routine without success—and if a healthcare professional has ruled out any underlying health issues affecting sleep—you might want to consider herbal remedies or supplements. Calming teas made with chamomile, lavender, lemon balm, or passionflower can be a good start.

5. Consider Magnesium Supplements.

If sleep issues persist, magnesium supplements might help. They are known for their calming effects on the nervous system and are generally safe for children, according to van Drimmelen. Magnesium can also be absorbed through Epsom salts, which can be added to a bedtime bath for soothing relief, hopefully leading to a restful night’s sleep.

While natural solutions may not resolve every bedtime challenge, they can be quite effective—even if your kids sometimes react as if you’ve been reading them The Art of War instead of Goodnight Moon.

PHOTOS BY Denny Dias