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Money can often lead to disagreements, arguments, and even long-lasting grudges. It’s unlikely for two people to have the same perspective on money management, and since finances are a sensitive topic, any differences in financial views can create significant friction.
Unfortunately, conflicts about money can be trickier to manage than regular disagreements.
Below are some common money disputes you might encounter, along with suggestions on how to prevent them from damaging your relationships. (See also: 4 Money Fights Married Couples Have (And How to Avoid Them))
Friends with Expensive Tastes
We’ve all experienced the pressure of trying to keep up with friends who have expensive tastes. They might suggest dining at a high-priced restaurant, while you were hoping for a casual night out on a budget.
It can feel uncomfortable to suggest a different venue, but feeling obligated to join them only to order the cheapest item is likely to lead to resentment, especially if they suggest splitting the bill evenly.
You may worry that addressing your different spending habits will lead to conflict. However, you can preempt these potential arguments by being honest about your budget constraints, or by suggesting affordable or free activities instead of accepting their expensive plans.
If you do go to an expensive restaurant, request separate checks to avoid uncomfortable discussions at the end. (See also: 5 Friend Types That Can Hurt Your Finances)
Misaligned Spending Priorities
Another common source of conflict for couples arises when one person spends money on what the other perceives as unnecessary. Disputes can occur over expenditures such as education or new gadgets. The spender may view the saver as overly frugal, while the saver may see the spender as irresponsible.
These conflicts can often be mitigated by having separate discretionary spending accounts, allowing each person to make purchases without creating tension.
However, disagreements concerning larger financial priorities are harder to resolve. If you and your partner can’t agree on significant expenses like education or career-related costs, it’s essential to discuss your differing viewpoints on spending priorities. Understanding the reasons behind each other’s financial choices can help foster compromise. (See also: 4 Ways Couples Can Tackle Money Goals Together)
Loaning Money
One of the most uncomfortable financial situations is being asked by a friend or family member to lend money. You might feel ashamed if you can’t help, or resentful for being asked in the first place. If you do choose to lend money, you may find yourself scrutinizing their financial decisions while waiting for repayment.
The key to avoiding arguments around loans is to establish clear expectations beforehand.
If you cannot lend the money, be upfront about it. Whether for financial or emotional reasons, communicate that you cannot assist. Instead of saying you can’t afford to help, offer to support them in non-financial ways.
If you do decide to proceed with the loan, treat it formally. Request a written contract that outlines repayment terms and what happens in the event of missed payments. This formality creates boundaries that help maintain your relationship.
Remember, if your loved one objects to these terms, you don’t need to manage their feelings regarding your financial boundaries. As the lender, you have the authority to set the loan’s conditions.
Don’t Let Money Affect Your Relationships
Ideally, finances wouldn’t create rifts between you and your loved ones. However, money disputes can lead to resentment and conflict. By establishing clear boundaries and discussing your financial priorities openly, you can prevent money arguments from escalating.
